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While I was surfing around the internet the other day, I came across a recipe for a candy with an intruiging name: Christmas Crack. I now know that the name is accurate not just because you crack the candy into pieces. After I glanced at the 4 ingredients (crackers, butter, sugar, chocolate), I was smitten. Fortunately we have a party to go to tonight that made for a good excuse to make some.
I made up my first batch yesterday, and whoa nelly, is this stuff bad news bears. Just look at the first thing you do:
You get yourself one whole packed cup of dark brown sugar. Good start, right? Then you cook up the brown sugar with a friend.
Those things swimming in there that look like hot dogs? That's the butter. Two entire sticks. Paula Deen would be proud.
While that's boiling, you arrange the crackers in a lined jelly roll pan. The original recipe calls for saltines, but on advice from a trusted source, I used Club crackers. Because they are more buttery. And this recipe needs more butter.
Pour the caramelly, buttery goodness over the crackers and bake. Try not to drool like Hootch as the smell of ambrosia fills your house.
Remove the pan from the oven and sprinkle with an entire bag of chocolate chips. Let 'em get all melty-like. ~sigh~
Ohhh, momma.
Whoa, daddy.
After the chocolate is all smoothed out, let it cool for awhile. Then put the pan in the freezer for two LONG hours. During this time I may or may not have retreated to a dark cave to bemoan my loss of The Precious.
Take the pan out of the freezer, peel off the tin foil, and crack it up into little bite-sized pieces. Of course, I had to sample some of it to make sure it wasn't poison.
Have mercy.
At this point, I was seriously considering running away with the crack and marrying it like Pee-Wee did with the fruit salad.
I tried to package up the crack as fast as I could to ensure there would actually be some to take to the Christmas party tonight.
These are the leftovers that wouldn't fit in the pretty tin. Any guesses as to how long it will last? I'll give you a hint: Two of those pieces were already gone before I put the lid on the container.
I paid the price though. All that butter and fat gave me an attack of the GERD like you wouldn't believe. If any of you actually know what that acronym stands for, you have probably experienced the agony I am talking about. Just a stern reminder from my body that crack is bad, m'kay?
Editor's Note: I apologize for all the random, obscure references to pop culture and my medical history in today's post. It's the crack talking.
Christmas Crack
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
a sleeve of club crackers
12 oz. chocolate chips
In a saucepan, combine the brown sugar in the butter and bring them to a boil. Boil for three minutes.
Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cover a jelly roll pan with aluminum foil. Cover the foil with a layer of club crackers.
Pour the buttery/sugary mix over the crackers, making sure they are all saturated. Put pan in the oven for 10 minutes.
Take pan out and sprinkle chocolate chips over the crackers. Let sit until chips soften. Spread the chips with a spatula or the back of a spoon. Freeze for two hours.
Remove the pan from the fridge and peel off the aluminum foil. Crack it up into pieces, whatever size you’d like. Store in a container and refrigerate until you’re ready to eat!
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